The Messy Middle — Grieving, Healing, and Waiting

Psalm 34:18 (NIV) - "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

Fourteen months ago, my life took an unexpected turn when my husband passed away. We had been dreaming about what our new life as empty nesters would look like, filled with new adventures and shared experiences. Now, I find myself navigating this journey alone, trying to make sense of a future that feels both exciting and daunting.
As my children move through their own milestones—graduating high school, finishing college, celebrating a marriage, and even getting engaged—I feel a swirling mix of joy and deep longing. My heart aches for the moments I can no longer share with my husband, and I find myself in what a blogger describes as "the messy middle."

Every day, I grapple with the reality of my loss while also trying to find joy and motivation... in my children’s accomplishments, cooking a meal, or a job well done. It’s a delicate balance, filled with both pride and sadness. I’m on the precipice of this new chapter of life, longing to see what lies ahead, yet all I often see is the weight of my grief and what can not be.

He is showing me that it’s okay for me to admit that I’m not okay right now. I am learning that it is perfectly natural to feel sad and lonely when navigating these transitional waters while still holding onto hope. Grief is unpredictable, and it comes in waves, reminding me that healing is not a straight path but a complex journey shaped by love and loss.

During this time, I hold, with two tight fists, to Psalm 34:18: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted.” In my loneliness, I find comfort in knowing that He is with me, listening to my cries and catching my tears. I lean on the understanding that my grief does not go unnoticed. He holds me in His gentle embrace as I walk through this challenging season.

Dear Lord, I come to You with a heavy heart, thankful for the years I shared with my husband. As I navigate this painful chapter of my life, I pray not only for myself but for all those who are facing loss. Many around us are carrying burdens of grief, sorrow, and heartache.
Lord, wrap each of us in Your gentle embrace and remind us that it’s okay to not have it all together. Help us to lean on the support of friends and family, to share our struggles and victories, and to feel the love that surrounds us. May Your presence bring comfort to those who are brokenhearted and strength to those whose spirits are crushed.
Guide us all in this journey through grief, and help us recognize the light that You provide even in the darkest moments. May we find solace in each other, sharing our pain and allowing healing to come through community and prayer. Amen.

To anyone else facing a similar journey of grief and transition, know that you are not alone. Share your struggles and victories with those around you; allow the love from friends and family to lift you during these challenging times.

As you navigate your own “messy middle,” allow yourself the grace to feel and to heal. Your emotions are valid, and it’s okay to lean on those who care about you. Remember, this season of transition will shape you but does not define you.

There is beauty waiting to unfold in your life. As you journey through your grief, trust that your heart will heal over time, and that hope will emerge from the shadows. You are loved, you are seen, and your story is not over... it's just another starting point. Embrace the moments of joy, however small they may seem, and carry the hope that brighter days lie ahead.